You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
