i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
