I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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