GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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