all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize