I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
