It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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