he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
two words: eviction party
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
