Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
