Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
