That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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