just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
