Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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