i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
how drunk are you?
Several
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
