he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
