he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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