and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
