dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Farmville is her only friend.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
