is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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