Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
