they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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