He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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