Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
