if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
