He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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