hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
