If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i think i just lost a toe
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
