One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
