so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
