real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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