I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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