is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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