So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
