Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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