considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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