I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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