There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
