Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
