member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
