I am puke
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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