I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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