What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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