Banned from zoo.
Again?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
