sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
