Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
