Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
