I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
