is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
