My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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