I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize