Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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