Sober January is a disaster.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
