On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
