She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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