It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
