omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
