..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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