kristin has been a bad kristin
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
