I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
