Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
