Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
