Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Randomize
