I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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